Need some relationship advice

[OregonNative]

As some of you know, I've been having some troubles with my girl. Here is a link to the post if you don't know what I'm talking about.

http://www.homebrewchatter.com/board/showthread.php?t=3130

I have a necklace that she loves here. It was the gift I got her on our first xmas as a serious couple. She is off with her family now. I was thinking about mailing it to her, with a letter.

I have not talked to her in 5 days, and I have not tried to contact her. I also have not heard from her though.

Would it be a bad move to send a letter? I would like to tell her many things that I need to say. If you guys don't think thats a bad move, do you have any recommendations on what I should say?

Cheers guys. :( The hurts not as bad now, but I still don't want to lose her forever.

[Barley-Davidson]

Would it be a bad move to send a letter? I would like to tell her many things that I need to say. If you guys don't think thats a bad move, do you have any recommendations on what I should say?

YES, it would be bad to send a letter!!!
It might be beneficial to write her a letter, or several, or hundreds - but DO NOT SEND THEM!!!
No late night emails, no drunken texts, no mix tapes (or whatever today's equivalent of the mix tape is), and by all means, no grandiose gestures!
Do not get her a xmas present, either.

Trust me here.

[Shenanigans]

I'd say don't send the letter. I just now read your other thread. But I got out of 2 year relationship not too long ago and seeing this sentence that you put in the other thread ("10 days ago she was so different. She told me she loved me so much, wanted to spend her life with me, and other things.") Reminds me of just how my relationship ended. She BSed me saying she just needed time and what not after telling me she loved me and what not the day before......long story short I wrote a sappy email telling her the things I did wrong in the relationship and other things I felt I needed to say to her. As soon as I got over her I wished I hadn't had sent her the email and regret it to this day. Not that it helped/worsened things, but it made my seem like a pussy. Plus she already had some new guy in her sights and as soon as I did get over her I realized she was really bad for me and I still thank god months later that nothing happened like her getting knocked up.

[Peteoz77]

+1 on BD"s write he a letter of 5 but Don't send them. It's very cleansing to write it down (or type it out) and once you have done that, get rid of them. If you send them, you will end up feealing like shit for having done it, regardless of whether you get back together with her or not.

[rooster445]

Get a goat

[Peteoz77]

A GTO? Why , so he can pick up women easier?

[Lerxst]

YES, it would be bad to send a letter!!!
It might be beneficial to write her a letter, or several, or hundreds - but DO NOT SEND THEM!!!
No late night emails, no drunken texts, no mix tapes (or whatever today's equivalent of the mix tape is), and by all means, no grandiose gestures!
Do not get her a xmas present, either.

Trust me here.

Where's that infinity symbol cause plus fucking infinity to this!!!

Drop the necklace in an envelope and send it to her like you would send a check to the phone company. Drop in a note with "Found this...take care, Bob" if you must.

[Peteoz77]

Nah, just put it somewhere safe and forget about it unless she comes back. If she doesn't. wait until you have a new squeeze, then get drunk and smash it with hammer in a sort of "Good Riddance" ceremony

[Ronthered]

or mail it into one of those cash for gold commercials on t.v

[Jekster]

Don't send her any letters. You're at a very emotional time right now and the letter will probably freak her out if anything.

[OregonNative]

Damn.. I wish you guys had told me it would be a good idea. Heh. The biggest deal here (I'm 99% sure) is she is scared of leaving all her family. I thought that maybe if I explained that things wouldn't be much different and thats part of growing up... then maybe she might come to her senses and quit being this way. It's killing me right now. :crack::(

:Tumbleweed:

[Ó Flannagáin]

I sent my wife a pretty nasty fucking letter when we were on the rocks. Read it last year when I found it in an old bag. Shit was stupid, really stupid. Can't believe we got back together the way I was acting.

[Evan!]

I sent my wife a pretty nasty fucking letter when we were on the rocks. Read it last year when I found it in an old bag. Shit was stupid, really stupid. Can't believe we got back together the way I was acting.

What mortal woman can resist a man who uses a fucking NARWAHL as a strap-on?

[OregonNative]

I sent my wife a pretty nasty fucking letter when we were on the rocks. Read it last year when I found it in an old bag. Shit was stupid, really stupid. Can't believe we got back together the way I was acting.

Well man.. that's great that you two worked it out. I would like things to work out in my situation as well. I don't want to be with her if she truly doesnt love me though. I want her to care about me as much as I care about her. If that's not the case, then I'm better off without her.

I guess I will just mail the necklace and give her space. Not much else I can do.. :(

[MrMarbleHead]

Damn so no mixed tapes.....that was always my hook ;)

It is still pretty fresh, so i would let it ride out a little longer, Write the letters, hang on to them, and then when the time comes that you two are back together, Pull the letters out and say some sappy little line like "see I never stopped loving you" then let her read the letters.

And in the unfortunate event that it doesn't work out you burn the letters as a symbol of closure.

[Peteoz77]

Or eat them... and let them turn to shit, just like the relationship has.... it's very symbolic.

[blacklab]

I say write the letter and tell her how you feel in detail about the family stuff. Get it all down on paper in a reasonable manner. Send the necklace if you want. I wouldn't try to do the grade school stuff and treat her like garbage in hopes she'll crawl back. That's no way to start a life together.

It seems like you've made it obvious to her that you want to work it out. If she wants to, she'll come back. If not - time to act like a 20 year old. Get drunk and hit on everything in sight. Soon you'll have your game back on.

[Ronthered]

Or eat them... and let them turn to shit, just like the relationship has.... it's very symbolic.

Real supportive there Pete

[Tankard]

Yeah, that was pretty fucked up Pete.

[Peteoz77]

I said it in reference to the post directly above mine..

WOP31 - "And in the unfortunate event that it doesn't work out you burn the letters as a symbol of closure."

See? Eating them as a symbol? IF it doesn't work out.....

Sorry, Next time I'll quote the post I am referring to

[Shenanigans]

I want her to care about me as much as I care about her. If that's not the case, then I'm better off without her.



Amen dude

[BlindLemonLars]

I want her to care about me as much as I care about her. If that's not the case, then I'm better off without her.

That's really the bottom line here...you shouldn't want somebody who doesn't want you. Find somebody who does, she is out there. Even if you don't find her right away, looking is half the fun.

[Diver Down]

This place is calling your name http://www.mollymalonesirishpub.com/ get out and have YOU some fun!

[OregonNative]

This place is calling your name http://www.mollymalonesirishpub.com/ get out and have YOU some fun!

Molly's is great. One of my favorite Irish pubs. If you go down to the highlands, there are like 10 Irish pubs, but I think they're my favorite.

If my work schedule wasn't so messed up I'd go more often. Maybe I'll try to go Saturday night.

I feel so pathetic whining to you guys right now.. :(

[Diver Down]

Go Man, Go!!!!!!!

[OregonNative]

Do you guys think I shouldn't fight for her? I'd have thought if I really love her I should fight for her. Especially after all this time.

[Diver Down]

Is she fighting for you?

[OregonNative]

I haven't talked to her in 5-6 days now. Before that I got 2 texts from her, but that was it. Last time we talked she was still being stubborn.

I think its just because she is scared though. :(

[Peteoz77]

Do you guys think I shouldn't fight for her? I'd have thought if I really love her I should fight for her. Especially after all this time.

I wouldn't call playing her games and crawling around on your knees "fighting for her". Fighting for her would be trying to best another suitor in some way so she can see that you are a superior choice.

Like with axes.:k2:

[OregonNative]

I wouldn't call playing her games and crawling around on your knees "fighting for her". Fighting for her would be trying to best another suitor in some way so she can see that you are a superior choice.

Like with axes.:k2:

So what can I do man? Just give her space? I don't want to lose her after 3 years. I want to fight for her, but I don't want to push her further away.

[BrewMeister Jeff]

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and together for 14 years. So I am probably the last one to give relationship advice. However, Here goes anyway :)

What caused the sudden change - Life changes? People getting older, moving away to college or a job out of the city/state? If she gets freaked out about this small shit what happens if/when you get married, have kids, etc.

It is easier to say that you'll be better off without her. But I have been where you are and I broke up with my now wife over some stupid shit. And I regretted a lot of the things I said. It took us over a year to talk to each other again and we have been together ever since. All that shit to say, "Let It Ride!" If you two were meant for each other she'll be back, but don't sit on the bench waiting for her to figure out if she wants you.

It will take time for you to get off the bench cuz you feel like a part of you has been cut off, but that part of you will grow back and you'll be fine. Keep on Rockin'!!

[OregonNative]

Thanks Jeff.

We had already talked a lot about big issues. Having kids, getting married, and we planned to do both of these things in the future. We had been talking about these things for over a year, so its not like just now it scared her off.

I'd love to have her back so we can move on with our lives. That would make me extremely happy. I want her to love me like she did just a few weeks ago. I never was bad to her. I never cursed at her, hit her, told her she couldn't go spend time with friends. She is very young still and I think she is scared maybe of having such a committed relationship so young.

Do you think having such a committed relationship so young could be a big issue here? She is under 21 and we have been together a bit over 3 years.

[Shenanigans]

Yeah dude.....if she doesn't come back its her loss...from what I've learned about most homebrewing people I think it is a hobby that generally attracts pretty cool guys so I bet you are a pretty cool dude. I'll tell you exactly what my friends told me when I was in the same boat several months ago. Now is the time to be a Man not a pussy. You have a 50% chance she'll come back I'm guessing if she is telling you the truth. I don't know anything about either of you though. I mean she could be lying and already have some other dude in mind. It is just easier for them to be pussies and tell you they need time or give you some other BS so they do not have to see themselves hurt you. I know it sucks and it will suck for a long time after 3 years if she doesn't come back, but every week you'll feel better till you pretty much forget about her.


Be a man.....don't have any contact with her. If its meant to be she'll come back or you might work it out later. Also don't go doing anything dumb like trying to off yourself over some chick.

[BlindLemonLars]

So what can I do man? Just give her space? I don't want to lose her after 3 years. I want to fight for her, but I don't want to push her further away.

Like Diver said, let her fight for you a little. In my experience, backing off is exactly what gets them thinking about you again. If you make it obvious that you are just waiting for them to come around, they take it for granted and your stock declines. You become their always available, last chance, worst case scenario option...not where you want to be. I'm not suggesting you be a jerk about it, that's never a good option. But make it clear that your life goes on, with or without her. That you'd prefer to be with her, but you're prepared to move on if necessary.

I feel for you man, I've been through that ringer a few times. The holidays are the worst time for this...a season where you almost feel obligated to be happy. Just remember, no matter what happens, with or without her, you are still a complete person. Having somebody doesn't make or define you or your worth, you do that yourself. Be true to yourself, and then find someone that complements you.

[Peteoz77]

A man wiser than me once said "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it will be yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with."

It took all my ability not to post the other version of this.. :)

[Ronthered]

basically the same thing happened to me. When I was 21 I got married and then got sent on deployment to Saudi arabia (where I actually met my current(final) wife) But the first wife got scared like that and wasn't sure if she was ready for that future(was under 21) and asked for a divorce. so being young as well, I did pretty much everything you wanted to do for a week or two, she wouldnt budge, so I said you know what , fuck it. I forgot about it, started living my life, went out in germany and had the time of my life. Didn't really talk to her much for a long time. About a year later I happened to run into this chick I met in Saudi Arabia on my navy base, and thats where I stand today almost 7 years later. Married for going on 4 years, two awesome kids.Got everything I wanted and more. So don't fool, or fuck yourself. Just live your life. I am a one sided advice giver here tho, I won't give the second chance anymore.

[Jekster]

I said it in reference to the post directly above mine..

WOP31 - "And in the unfortunate event that it doesn't work out you burn the letters as a symbol of closure."

See? Eating them as a symbol? IF it doesn't work out.....

Sorry, Next time I'll quote the post I am referring to

Nice save. ;)

[OregonNative]

I appreciate you all talking to me about these, even though I'm being a pathetic bitch about it.

I love this girl, and she was pretty much perfect for me in every way. We got along about everything, and never had a problem before.

I just have to give her space I suppose.. not much else I can do now. I feel broken, I really do. Being at work is the worst.. often I drive alone out to pick up stuff with my tug and take it out to planes. I have all night to my thoughts pretty much. No music, radio, cell phone, ect allowed.

I'm sorry for being so whiny guys, I'm just hurting really bad.

[OregonNative]

I forgot the add,

I think the thing that scares me the most if not trying to do anything. I feel like maybe I should be fighting harder if I really care about her. Maybe if I don't do anything things will never get better.

But like you guys said, I need to give her space and not degrade myself. Ugh.. I hate all this. I want to move forward in time 3-6 months.

[Ó Flannagáin]

I want to move forward in time 3-6 months.

Why didn't you just say so?

http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/back-to-the-future/flux-capacitor-real.jpg

[OregonNative]

Why didn't you just say so?

http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/back-to-the-future/flux-capacitor-real.jpg

If only it were that easy my friend. :alc:

[Lerxst]

If only it were that easy my friend. :alc:

truth of the matter is that it's as hard as you make it.

[Ronthered]

truth of the matter is that it's as hard as you make it.

Thats about as true as anything, I made it hard on myself until I realized just how easy it really could be. Then I was ok with it. which actually made my exwife want to get back together. But it was already to late. Got to stick to your guns

[Shenanigans]

which actually made my exwife want to get back together. But it was already to late. Got to stick to your guns


Thats truly awesome ron.

[Ronthered]

had to man, couldnt stick around to see if it would happen again you know

[Peteoz77]

So what can I do man? Just give her space? I don't want to lose her after 3 years. I want to fight for her, but I don't want to push her further away.

But what I am saying, is there is nothing to "fight" for. Think of a pet dog (No, I'm not trying to oversimplify, work with me here), The dog loves you or they don't. You can buy them treats, take them for walks, whatever, and get along just fine, but you can't make that dog LOVE you. they do or they don't.

A lot of relationships really are like the feed/water/take them for walks scenario. Youu keep your partner happy and she keeps you happy. You get married, keep each other happy, go with the flow etc, but is the LOVE really there? I don't think so in all too many cases. There wouldn't be as many divorces if these people REALLY loved each other.

Think of the dog ownership again. So, you LOVE that dog, and it loves you..for real. DO you get rid of him because he barks/shits/sheds/eats too much? Hell no! you roll with it.

My point is.. you can't make someone love you, just like you can't make a dog love you. They do or they don't, and no amount of "fighting for it" will change that.

You might find that she does come back.. which means either she does love you, or she needs you to make her happy once again.

Now, I am going to back away slowly and duck out of this conversation before I dig myself in further.

[OregonNative]

I see what you're saying Pete. I'm done with this convo as well. I feel to pathetic haha!

I guess I'll only respond if anyone asks a question, comments or, ect.

I appreciate the help guys.

[Ó Flannagáin]

The first group HBC counseling session! Take it for what it's worth though ;)

[Peteoz77]

Yeah, remember that you are talking to a bunch of drunks....

and not to be Cliche'... but:

RDWHAHB

[Brewingchick]

I haven't talked to her in 5-6 days now. Before that I got 2 texts from her, but that was it. Last time we talked she was still being stubborn.

I think its just because she is scared though. :(

Well, even though you said you wouldn't respond, I thought I'd put this out there.

Women often say things "nicely", so we don't hurt guys feelings. I doubt she was being stubborn, and I doubt she's that scared about leaving her family. I think she's just mixed up, plain and simple, and doesn't know what she wants.

You can either decide to wait (and go crazy in the meantime), or to say that you can't do that and try to move on.

[Diver Down]

Well, even though you said you wouldn't respond, I thought I'd put this out there.

Women often say things "nicely", so we don't hurt guys feelings. I doubt she was being stubborn, and I doubt she's that scared about leaving her family. I think she's just mixed up, plain and simple, and doesn't know what she wants.

You can either decide to wait (and go crazy in the meantime), or to say that you can't do that and try to move on.

Hell Yea, http://www.mollymalonesirishpub.com/calling your name!!!

[fireballmatt]

The first group HBC counseling session! Take it for what it's worth though ;)

Shit, next thing you know you'll be calling for group hugs...

[Shenanigans]

Shit, next thing you know you'll be calling for group hugs...


You sound like you might need a hug matt. Do you?

[fireballmatt]

You sound like you might need a hug matt. Do you?

Heh, find me after a few more drinks and I might be a bit more receptive. Actually getting a recipe together for tomorrow's brew day before I get to schnockered. Have a friend brewing with me for the first time...so putting together a light Cream Ale for him.

[Ó Flannagáin]

Well, even though you said you wouldn't respond, I thought I'd put this out there.

Women often say things "nicely", so we don't hurt guys feelings. I doubt she was being stubborn, and I doubt she's that scared about leaving her family. I think she's just mixed up, plain and simple, and doesn't know what she wants.

You can either decide to wait (and go crazy in the meantime), or to say that you can't do that and try to move on.

Hey!! Some female insight. Take this as very valuable, Oregon because before this it was just a bunch of men, most a few beers in.

[OregonNative]

Hey!! Some female insight. Take this as very valuable, Oregon because before this it was just a bunch of men, most a few beers in.

Yeah man. I guess all I can do is move on. I don't plan on jumping into a relationship again for a while. I'd like to fix this but (pardon the term) I can't wait around and be her bitch. I don't want to be walked all over.

I'm thinking of just up and leaving to south Germany. I have some family there. In München and Stuttgart.

Ich habe keinen blassen Dunst... Ich weiß nicht, was über mich gekommen ist. Die Zeit wird es lehren.

Tschüss :(

[Diver Down]

Yeah man. I guess all I can do is move on. I don't plan on jumping into a relationship again for a while. I'd like to fix this but (pardon the term) I can't wait around and be her bitch. I don't want to be walked all over.

I'm thinking of just up and leaving to south Germany. I have some family there. In München and Stuttgart.

Ich habe keinen blassen Dunst... Ich weiß nicht, was über mich gekommen ist. Die Zeit wird es lehren.

Tschüss :(

What ever you do. think about yourself! You have your life to live with no tie downs. Think what YOU want 20,30 years down the road. I know It's hard to understand. But think about it.

[Barley-Davidson]

I'm thinking of just up and leaving to south Germany. I have some family there. In München and Stuttgart.

I heard there are some good beers in Germany.

[OregonNative]

I heard there are some good beers in Germany.

Mostly imports I hear. ;)

[Ronthered]

here's babelfish's wrong translation

I do not have pale vapor… I do not know, what came over me. The time will teach it. Tschüss

[fireballmatt]

here's babelfish's wrong translation

I do not have pale vapor… I do not know, what came over me. The time will teach it. Tschüss

LOL gotta love Babelfish...it actually says something like:

"I have not the faintest (idea?) ... I do not know what came over me. Time will tell. Bye"

[OregonNative]

LOL gotta love Babelfish...it actually says something like:

"I have not the faintest (idea?) ... I do not know what came over me. Time will tell. Bye"

I love online translators. They usually get about 20% right. ;)

[blacklab]

You sound like you might need a hug matt. Do you?

I want to hug his avatar.

[OregonNative]

Well.. she contacted me through another text.

She just asked "how are you doing?"

I just told her. I'm good. I hope you are well too.

[fireballmatt]

I want to hug his avatar.

Don't we all. I don't think I'll change it for a long time...I love imagining a "meet up" scenario.

Hi, I'm FireballMatt.
Who?
FireballMatt, you know...from HBC, post semi-regularly?
No, sorry...
The bouncing boob dude...
OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[MrMarbleHead]

So did she send anything back to you Oregon?

[OregonNative]

So did she send anything back to you Oregon?

Not yet. I'm trying to give her space. I don't want to come off as needy or some shit like that. I talked to her mom though.. apparently much of her family is (quietly) pissed off at her decision.

Of course what her family thinks does not mean that's what she should think. Her mother and father think she is a fool for doing this. They believe we have a real future ahead of us, and so do her brothers. Of course her family will not say these things to her.

The only real advice I got was from her brother. He told me (he had been through the same thing with his wife), at that age (under 21) girls do not really know what they want. He told me that since we had been together since we were very young she did not know much of a life without me. He said most likely she is just scared, and not sure what she wants in life.
He said she has been very quiet, and not herself lately.

I don't know man.. regardless I'm just trying to not let things bother me with this. It hurts bad enough that the holidays are in town and I don't have her by my side.

[MrMarbleHead]

You sound a lot better about it though, Glad to see you are doin gsomething usefull with the money that you would have spent on her though. Give her time and she could be back. Plus you will have a sweet kegerator set up by then too! ;)

The offer still stands, you are welcome in Bloomington anytime you want.

[OregonNative]

You sound a lot better about it though, Glad to see you are doin gsomething usefull with the money that you would have spent on her though. Give her time and she could be back. Plus you will have a sweet kegerator set up by then too! ;)

The offer still stands, you are welcome in Bloomington anytime you want.

Thanks man. Also... hell yeah! Spend a little bit of money on a kegerator setup! :alc:

I do feel a bit better. If I hurt or feel good, the result will most likely be the same. So I am trying my best to focus on other things right now. I love her and want to fix our relationship more than anything else in the world right now. I do not want her back though if she truly doesn't love me. I want to be loved by my girlfriend/wife/ect. So for now, I will just give her space. Like Flanny (i think) said, in 6 months I'll be happy and with her, or happy without her.

Also man.. next time I'm up that way, I'm definitely looking you up! I'm buying though. :D

[OregonNative]

I just got an interesting text from her.. I had told her I am good, I hope you are too.

I got one back saying..
''how do you think I feel? i dont even know. ive just been keeping on. pretty numb''

[newtobrew]

Ok OregonNative,

I have read all the posts in this thread, and the posts in the other thread about you and your girlfriend. IMHO, I think she has absolutely no idea what she wants out of life. At her age most women don't know. I sure as hell didn't know how I wanted my entire life to be. I have just taken one period of time and figured my life out, and then went on to the next period of time.

Being as young as she is, if your girl went from her parents home to living with you, then she has skipped an important step in her growing up. Having the opportuity to live away from our parents and take care of ourselves is an important development step. We learn to become an individual insted of so and so's daughter or so and so's wife (or girl friend). We as woman are taught that we should be dependent on our fathers and husbands, but when those people aren't there we have no clue what to do. With part of her family moving, and your work and school schedule, she may have found herself alone and scared of being alone because she hasn't had to do all the things necessary to take care of herself.

She says she needs space, and that may be exactly what she needs. She needs to find out who she is as an individual before she can be someone's wife.

Her family seems to be very supportive of your relationship, so even though you haven't talked to her for almost a week, you can bet that her parents mention you a lot.

Be patient, but don't stop living and doing the things that you love to do. Go forward with your life, and hopefully she'll catch up to you.

I really hope this helps. I know that you love her very much, and I hope things work out for you.

[OregonNative]

Ok OregonNative,

I have read all the posts in this thread, and the posts in the other thread about you and your girlfriend. IMHO, I think she has absolutely no idea what she wants out of life. At her age most women don't know. I sure as hell didn't know how I wanted my entire life to be. I have just taken one period of time and figured my life out, and then went on to the next period of time.

Being as young as she is, if your girl went from her parents home to living with you, then she has skipped an important step in her growing up. Having the opportuity to live away from our parents and take care of ourselves is an important development step. We learn to become an individual insted of so and so's daughter or so and so's wife (or girl friend). We as woman are taught that we should be dependent on our fathers and husbands, but when those people aren't there we have no clue what to do. With part of her family moving, and your work and school schedule, she may have found herself alone and scared of being alone because she hasn't had to do all the things necessary to take care of herself.

She says she needs space, and that may be exactly what she needs. She needs to find out who she is as an individual before she can be someone's wife.

Her family seems to be very supportive of your relationship, so even though you haven't talked to her for almost a week, you can bet that her parents mention you a lot.

Be patient, but don't stop living and doing the things that you love to do. Go forward with your life, and hopefully she'll catch up to you.

I really hope this helps. I know that you love her very much, and I hope things work out for you.


I love this lady wih all my heart. She is the only girl I have ever cared about.

I really appreciate the feedback. I hope it all works out before its to late too. I just miss her so much. Everyday I hurt because I miss this girl. All I can do is live my life though. With her or without her I have to move on. I hate to think about that.. especially after all these years, but I can only live my life. I can't force her to love me. No matter how much I wish I could.. as obsessive as that sounds.

[OregonNative]

The holidays make me even lonelier. I hope she will realize what she wants in life, and we can fix our relationship.

The hurt comes and goes.

[Lerxst]

Drop the keyboard and step away from the thread.....

[Union Brewer]

Look, I am new here, and I don't know shit about beer. But what I do know a little about is women and life. What you need to do brother is take care of yourself.....no one else is going to do it for you. You say you are giving her space, but yet you have talked to her parents and brother. Trust me, if you talked to them then they have talked to her. To her that is not giving her space. You say that you miss her and times are bad? Get back to your roots to pass the time. Go hang out with friends you haven't seen for a while to help you get through the holidays. Hang out with your family. Do stuff that reminds you of your childhood, not the time you have spent with her. Lastly, if things are meant to be, they will work themselves out, if not you got to move on. Hope this helps. Best of luck to ya!

[OregonNative]

Look, I am new here, and I don't know shit about beer. But what I do know a little about is women and life. What you need to do brother is take care of yourself.....no one else is going to do it for you. You say you are giving her space, but yet you have talked to her parents and brother. Trust me, if you talked to them then they have talked to her. To her that is not giving her space. You say that you miss her and times are bad? Get back to your roots to pass the time. Go hang out with friends you haven't seen for a while to help you get through the holidays. Hang out with your family. Do stuff that reminds you of your childhood, not the time you have spent with her. Lastly, if things are meant to be, they will work themselves out, if not you got to move on. Hope this helps. Best of luck to ya!

Thanks for the advice Bro. The real problem is, I moved to Kentucky not to long ago. I don't have any close friends here, and that makes things hard also. I have a few people I hangout with, but I wouldn't call them close friends.

I guess I just need to let things ride..

[Union Brewer]

Louisville is a cool ass town. There is plenty of shit to do there. Go see the Maker's Mark Distillery. It's pretty cool. Or the Corvette Museum. Try to keep yourself busy. Everything has a way of working out. Good luck bro!

[OregonNative]

Louisville is a cool ass town. There is plenty of shit to do there. Go see the Maker's Mark Distillery. It's pretty cool. Or the Corvette Museum. Try to keep yourself busy. Everything has a way of working out. Good luck bro!

Thanks man. I'll try. I know it will work out one way or another.

Also, welcome to the hobby. Glad to see another brewer. You'll learn a lot here man. Congrats on getting into the hobby. You're about to become a brewing addict. ;)

[Ronthered]

Or drink beer in bloomington

[OregonNative]

I believe I'm going to just go "No Contact"

No more texts, calls, emails, ect. I have tried hard enough, now if she wants to fix things.. its on her. I will tell her I love her and would love for things to work, but that's it. No more from me.

Thanks for the support guys. I'm still hurting, but I'm just looking for the best possible solution.

[Jekster]

I believe I'm going to just go "No Contact"

No more texts, calls, emails, ect. I have tried hard enough, now if she wants to fix things.. its on her. I will tell her I love her and would love for things to work, but that's it. No more from me.

Thanks for the support guys. I'm still hurting, but I'm just looking for the best possible solution.

After a point this is the best option. I think you're making the right decision.